Driz 12:34 Fri Jul 22
Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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As it says on the tin.
The boy is west ham too so it seems appropriate to ask you lunatics. Credits will be given in my best man speech.
Answers in by Saturday morning. Channel your inner genius folks.
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Replies - In Chronological Order ( Show Newest Messages First)
Nurse Ratched
12:37 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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Run!
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Takashi Miike
12:39 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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do not, I repeat, do not slag off the bride in any way shape or form as it can lead to a mass brawl once the beer starts flowing :.)
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BRANDED
12:41 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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Talk about the time the groom fucked an academy lad in the bogs at thd boleyn on a pre season match. It'll have them on stitches.
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Alex G
12:44 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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Start off with "I'm not saying the groom is a homosexual but I totally bummed him last night"and you won't go far wrong.
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the coming of gary
12:46 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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Alex
are you ASSUMING its not a gay wedding anyway
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Nagel
12:48 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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Tell him that his wedding night will be like his first experience of going to West Ham at the Olympic Stadium.
He'll be entering a soulless cavernous place which dozens of rugby players had been in a few weeks before.
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Eerie Descent
12:52 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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Credits will be given in the speech?
"Yeah, there was this one time that he was in a lift with the lovely bride and 4 other people, they'd had a curry a few hours before, she farted, followed through, and shit just rolled down her legs. Thanks to Son Of Anarchy from the West Ham website WHO for that one."
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Raymond Reddington
12:52 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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Always finish with " but in all honesty, I've never seen (insert grooms name) so happy as when (insert brides name) agreed to put her finger in he's ring.
Thank you and enjoy the night
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Driz
1:12 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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Is one post on topic a WHO record?
Thanks Nurse.
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HairyHammer
1:54 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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Just pay an Actress to walk in with a crying baby shouting the grooms name and how he cannot betray his new baby.
A joke too far maybe, but an ever lasting memory without doubt.
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les marteaux
1:56 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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You could say: In the first few months you will do everything but eat her, after that you'll wish you had.
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Darlo Debs
2:00 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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I think I'd have to go with Nurses advice on this one.
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jayjones
11:46 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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Isnt Driz the groom and he is asking for advise on writing a speech about the best man? At least that is how I have read the title of the thread
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Barmy Fred
12:27 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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Done the one where the best man goes on about his previous conquests and says that they need to return the keys to his flat / house / boat / caravan - or whatever.
Prior to the meal the best man hands out keys to various women men? granny for a laugh etc
He asks for the keys back and they come up to give them back and all laugh at the procession of fit / ugly / old and related women coming up
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the exile
12:40 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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Went to a wedding once where the best man was really harsh about the groom - it was just awful and embarrassing, partly because he thought he was being funny but mainly because everyone knew that most of it was true.
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master
12:42 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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"Ladles and jellyspoons..."
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dealcanvey
12:52 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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Being (insert name) best man is a bit like shagging the queen. It's a privilege but no one really wanted to do it.
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i-Ron
12:54 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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I thought I wrote a brilliant one for my best mate....and i completely fucking ruined it with the delivery. I didn't use any generic or stuff used elsewhere apart from follow the structure.
Was fucking awful though.
Watched it back about a year later and just cringe at how bad i am speaking in public.
I was half a best man - and the other bloke I did it with delivered it brilliantly. I'd written the whole thing myself, really pissed me off after how everyone said he was funny.
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Dr Moose
6:23 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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Done 2, smashed both of them nothing to this speaking in public lark.
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w4hammer
6:26 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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short , to the point, and save the cringe./embarassing stuff for the bar afterwards...
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